Symptoms of Quarter Life Crisis

Most people who are going through this ugly process are aware that there is something wrong, but are you just feeling generally miserable or is it a quarter-life crisis? What are the signs or symptoms? Commonly, they are…

• Feeling like you’re not doing well enough
• Frustration & disillusionment with the working world
• Feeling insecure about what you’re doing, where you’re going & what your plans are
• Anxiety over close relationships
• Feeling extremely bored with your social life (otherwise known as, “Oh my god, I will throw myself out the window if I have to go to another party at her house”)
• Nostalgia for teenage years, high school or university (this often manifests itself as an obsession with looking at old photographs or reading journals & reminiscing)
• Feeling a desperate need to “settle down” — like buy a house, get married or have a baby
• …Or conversely, wanting to “escape” the real world — like backpacking around the world or finding a nice cave to live in
• Financial stress or confusion
• Intense loneliness
• Feeling that everyone is doing better than you
• Terror at the concept of getting “old”
• Wondering “Is that all there is?”
• A vague feeling of apathy, mixed with horror, panic & depression

Source: http://galadarling.com/article/how-to-cope-with-a-quarter-life-crisis

 

 

sad to say that i have all the signs/symptoms.. but well well.. with faith, my future will be safe!

 

 

The Quarter Life Crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Source: unknown

of her future that is at stake, literally!

recently, coincidentally… i have been casually informed that my cousins/friends are putting stakes on my future. not monetary wise per se but more of .. a topic of discussion. before i proceed on to talk about my comfort level on this current topic of discussion, i decided to blog about it.

in a nut shell, i was informed that due to my past records and idiosyncrasies, the stakes are of regards to which race will i be married to in the future. funny how singlehood and lesbianism has been conveniently singled out but here were the options.

1) malay

2) chinese

3) mixed blood heritage

4) indians

5) other races

frankly, i’ve no freaking idea and not thinking about it but though majority went for no.2 and followed by no.3, i do have a BFF who thinks i’ll get 1) .. but apparently a rich 1) (pun intended).

it’s scary to think about the future. i’ve heard stories of divorces… result of lack of love. resulting from infidelity. resulting from uncontrolled sexual urges. bla bla bla. i’m just taking one day at a time.

 

if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

of weddings and relationships

lately on my facebook, there are so many posts/statuses/photos/updates about people getting engaged, people getting married, people in love (okay that isn’t new uh) well guess in my age and my circle of friends, it’s definitely getting increasingly common. hitching and hatching seemed to be like passing your A’lvls and going to uni. well, just an analogy. not a good one apparently.

so yes. i do have thoughts about weddings and relationships as well. however, as pin pointed by someone, there is one huge flaw in my thoughts of relationships and weddings. everything is well thought of except, well… the partner. believe me when i said, i’ve thought of the engagement and wedding ring that i’m going to (subtly) hint to my other half. he is gonna be a very lucky man coz i’m not into carats of diamond at all. ain’t that awesome =P

it’s such a bliss to see people who are really in true love just being happy and getting married. people getting engaged. people helping each other on how to propose. people buying HDB flats together. it’s such an awwwww.

which then comes to the flaw about my thoughts of weddings and relationships… the other half.

think since the beginning of the year, before i even turn twenty (something), my cousins/friends have been attempting to matchmake me and let me ‘socialize’ with people of my own religion/race. well, obviously nothing turns out right. hahah but it was all fun =) the worst so far was someone calling me arrogant and i called him boring.  love it when feelings are mutual. but nevertheless, which brings me back to the deeper thought abt partners.

what are the criteria? issit even necessary to have a criteria?

idealistically speaking………….. the man must be

talldarkhandsomerichsmarkhumourouscharismaticresponsible
goodbuilthotbodydrivesgoodcarinterestinglovinglovestravellinglovestosplurgeandyetknowhowtoplanfinanciallyis
averyfamilymanlovesmyparentsandfriendsisn’tselfishbutisn’taspendthrifteitherisnotneedy
metrosexuallovestogroomflawlessenglishlanguageveryhumbleinspiringmotivatingreliableresponsible

the list could go on and on and on. but what’s the point when…

there is just NO LOVE?

despite how some people say im too unrealistic and too picky, i beg to differ. i just didn’t feel it yet. i dont think all my dates/exs have ALL the above mentioned traits. but what’s important is, there’s feelings. (:

of the major stages in life…

i swear if my blog is a white bread, you could have seen the white mould already. but thank God it’s not. 

of the many thoughts that goes through my brain, i have been painfully reminded that life is short. which then again, separates my thoughts into 2 distinct branches.. what have I been through and what I will (if God permits) go through.

for the past twenty plus years, i’ve been blessed to smoothly transit between the major stages of my life in my youth. i’ve been blessed to also be given the opportunity to lead a very vibrant yet fruitful youth. since i was born, prolly the things i go thru that i could (almost barely) remember are…

PSLE  w/ an aggregate of 2__ and me looking stout and nerdy!

O’lvl with the points on par with my age then with bonus points on par with the number of subjects i took.

A’lvl which is as A B C (literally) coz all these three letters were my grades in the 4 subs i took.

and last but not least… my degree which has the only As and Es in them. no B no C no D!

so education has always been the main focus of the past years of my life/youth. it has proven its worth and given me life experiences that isn’t even tested by cambridge. but however, post education, life is different. post education, one got to experience and be exposed to be prepared for other stages of life..

like..

career.

family planning.

retirement.

from what i learnt from my past experiences in life, or rather, very expensive lessons those were (some literally, some figuratively), one has to make decisions of what he or she wants so that actions could be taken and when desire and faith coincide, everything will fall in place.

now the question is,

am i ready?

Convocation 2011

Thank you everyone for making that supposedly boring day a very memorable one for me!!

a very very very special thanks to ….

the ones who stood by my exam fees and late night outings and bowling session. the one who bought me bear and flowers for convocation gift though i insisted on a Gucci. HAHA!

and of course not forgetting…

the one who skipped school and help me take photos during the day!

 

 

nevertheless i would also love to thank..

eric(left) for being an awesome bowling president and fren and cheryl(right) for being a wonderful teammate and gossip buddy and entertaining me in doing the ‘throw the hat thingy’

isaac chan for being an awesome new-friend-found-after-graduation and for coming down after his stinky gym session !

max for all the times he came down to my place at 1am just to fix my laptop coz i was frantically panicking!  great to find you at like, 530pm. HAHA

and last but not least chris who drove/cabbed all the way to SIM for a short while to take a photo and .. erm.. meet the parents! reallllllllly sweet surprise thanks!

(and pameela whom i can never have the fate to take photo with her!)

 

nevertheless we all enjoyed ourselves before going to the studio for a family photoshoot. i really wonder how it will turn out.

 

so many things happen in SIM. somehow many things that started there ended there as well. nevertheless it was all worth the experience.

 

Barcelona 2011

the trip to BCN was mega awesome and i definitly would wanna go there again! no doubt one of my main intention to go there is also to take as many photos as possible. (: so here are some pics! (which i guess you prolly have seen thru FB)

basit’s childhood. chasing birds at Plaza Catalunya, Spain. (he should really go tralfagar square then!)

la sagrada familia – an incomplete cathedral in BCN.

us who went (from left: dad, me, my 12yr old cousin, my mom, my 12 yr old bro, my aunt and my 4 yr old v v cute cousin!)

abdulbasitbinsani

my bro and my cousin!

 

 

it was all fun ! definitely wanna go there again!

here i am, unprotected

i couldn’t keep track on what i was doin’ with my life for the past one month but definitely some meet ups occur-ed with my long time buddies and also with buddies which i met everyday. haha.

started off with meeting isaac on the eve of new year’s eve for a bowling session where we bowl and went out for supper! nomnom

then meeting my small intimate bowlers for dinner…

and here is the extended version (with the 2 men in it!)

the s14 girls who came to my place for reunion dinner steamboat!

the ‘class’ who came plus our ‘senior friend’ HAHA aka azahar, the bio teacher

and the traditional reunion dinner too at bd’s hse!

 

and spent the night at marina barrage instead of DeCoder’s cafe just hanging out and talk. it’s so damn peaceful to just lie down and look up at the kites that is lighting up the dark blue sky past midnight.

fun!! (:

have been having quite a life nowadays! met up with some grp of friends to just chill out, catch up, gossip in!

(will post some pictures later coz im going off now ciao!)

 

 

 

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